dinosaur journal

My friend Curt Mortimer released his book Dinosaur Journal: Making Sense of a Young Son's Death ten years ago. Recently I have come to struggle with the possibility of losing someone very close. I'm finding considerable solace and wisdom in Curt's poems and reflections. There is a vulnerability and stalwart courage in his desire to reveal and cherish every stage in the journey of grief faced in the realization of his son's death. Here is one of his poems:

IN THE DEAD OF WINTER

If you look real hard
With magical eyes,
You can see next spring
In the dying,
In the falling of the leaves.

To those who love life,
The winter seems unbearable,
A terrible burial,
A grave
For multicolored life.

I remember once, the invitation
Of a snowy day,
Sunshiny day,
Sprinkled with sparkling light
Made you forget your headache.

My heartache also soothed,
"He'll be better by spring."
I could believe in spring,
For that winter day
We spent in fear-free fun.

It is the children,
The believers with magical eyes,
who make of winter
A face-flushed slide to spring,
The hardest hills the best.
(page 27)

Tags: Curtiss Mortimer, Dinosaur Journal, grief, loss, death